When I think of Jesus I don’t think of Christians and when I think of Christians I really don’t think much about Jesus. The two don’t really strike the same chord in my heart, they never have. I could argue that this should be different, that there should be a connection, that there should be a similarity, but I cant and won’t.

I find that my well beloved theology is strenuously tested in the presence of Jesus. Things that I once held so tightly to seem silly against the backdrop of the Ancient of Days. In fact, my hard earned “maturity” plummets when I enroll in the school of Christ.

I know what it is like to think more about the end than the now, dying more than living, the pain more than the healing. I know what it is like to only want to escape. I know what it is like to despise yourself and everyone else.

When the church breeds more pain than love, it is very easy for me start a movement against the institution, and I find no lack of recruits.